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Last night in the wind and rain we showed that we are more than good enough to compete in this league.
On a night where I don't think a single person can say they had an outstanding game we beat a team who were in division six by 8 goals to 3.
For me the match turned at half time and fitness really began to show. During the first half there was a chase for the ball and challenges were 50/50, however by the fist change of the 2nd half we were all over them and it was really no contest.
Our fitness and determination showed in this match and we were basically solid. We used Khanny well, blocked and tackled well and after a while began to put our chances away.
In nets our already handicapped keeper was suffering from the plague but still turned up (what commitment), and put in a typical performance (by that I mean cr*p, but with a few magic moments), At the back there were as ever solid performances and the opposition were limited in their chances. And up front, well what can you say. We have 4 players all in contention for the golden boot, each getting a brace.
Wood, Kennedy, Cassidy and MOM Patel all grabbed 2 goals and have given up a healthy goal difference already.
If you check out the goals website you can see we are 2nd. Lets try to stay there or improve next week.
It's against social services and is our earliest ever kick off at 1900 hours.
Special mention to Woody as well this week as he is the first player to get his half ton for CPAFC.
Well done lads
see you next week
James
MATCH 2
CPAFC 17 - 4 Social Services
The mighty CPAFC’s impressive home record and Social Services’ fearfully bad defending combined to produce an even greater difference of quality than anyone could have expected. Quite simply, The Social Services were routed! Their manager talking in a post match interview later used all the critical adjectives: "Embarrassing, shocking, dreadful” quite simply they were outclassed by the far superior CPAFC.
Although safety from relegation was still a long way off, both clubs had reason to believe that victory yesterday would go some distance towards a new feeling of guarded confidence. CPAFC had won their opening game in confident style and Social Services came close to beating Sporting Lesbian. There was a major panic pre kick off due to man of the moment Atif Khan going momentarily awol and James Caves was pulling on the goalie gloves, all was fine though with approximately 30 seconds to go as Atif came running onto the pitch this made the odds much in favour of CPAFC.
It is five games now since CPAFC were cruelly beaten by Dynamic 5 and the club have not lost since in any competition. Last night we played with style as a breathless late flurry saw CPAFC push their score into double figures for the first time this season.
Graeme Kennedy opened the scoring early on and immediately nerves were settled, a few sloppy touches and tackles and preceded the opener but they were vanished as we began to maul our opposition going into half time with an 8-3 lead.
During the second half Social Services’ heads dropped and they left themselves exposed at the back, this left our number 9 the mighty Jim Boorman free to score a hat-trick and see his goal stats improve by 300%, this also earned him the referees nominations for man of the match.
The official CPAFC man of the match however went to Scottish wiz kid Graeme Kennedy who not only popped up with 3 goals but set up most of the others, assists flying out of the mans ears with passes galore and dainty one-twos that wound cripple even the best defenders.
The other goals came from James Wood, James Caves and Myself. James Wood hit 5, the pick of the bunch being a peach of a shot which capped off a mazy 20 yard weaving run where he single-handedly beat 4 players before unleashing a venomous shot passed the helpless keeper.
James Caves helped himself to a brace in the second half with help from wonderful link up play with Graeme. The standout goal for him and the penultimate goal of the night came as he wrestled the ball out of defence, offloaded the ball to Graeme beat his marker for pace before receiving the ball back and smashing the ball home.
I myself was on the goal scorers list last night notching up an impressive tally of 4 goals, 3 of which coming with my weaker left foot. This all added up to 17 goals which left chairman of the supporters association Chris Jones in dreamland.
Saleem and Atif at the back played brilliant as usual with Saleem unlucky not to get on the score sheet.
17-4 not a bads night work! A Valentines Day massacre even Al Capone would be proud of! We’ve got I C Milan next week so lets keep this run going.
Your 4 goal hero (did I mention that 3 of them were with my left foot?)
Danny (just call me Thierry) Cassidy OBE
MATCH 4
CPAFC 5 - 0 A Touch Of Class
It was a merciless CPAFC, spearheaded by a reinvigorated Simon Binns, that shredded the team formally known as BMFC. A Touch Of Class ran tirelessly all night but like Elite before them they failed to live up to their name.
Speaking exclusively to our pitch side reporter their manager trotted out the excuse that, "with the young and inexperienced back line we had and the lack of substitutes it was always going to be difficult". Their team had suffered from injuries this season but can that alone explain their erratic team performance?
In his team's previous visit they had conceded only 1 goal, so last night they headed out to do battle with an attacking 1-1-2 formation and an inexplicably high defensive line that allowed Man of the match Danny Cassidy (yes that’s me!) free rein to run in behind that youthful defence. This attacking style of play adopted by A Touch Of Class was their biggest faux-pas of the night, as while they could get up in numbers they left their defence out numbered at the back. Jim Boorman on a superb goal scoring run at the moment netted the first mid way through the first half which settled our nerves and then the floodgates opened.
Last season’s top goal scorer James Wood was next to add his name to the goal tally capping off a delightful one two with Graeme Kennedy with a venomous strike.
The next strike came courteous off myself with thanks to James Caves for his efforts on the wing where he not only won the ball but laid on a beautiful assist where I found myself in space, looked up and unleashed a stinging shot into the top left hand corner.
With the Three Nil score line ringing in their ears and Simon Binns tackling everything A Touch Of Class seemed to let their heads drop. This left CPAFC with a host of opportunities. James Wood was in his element, helping himself to the banquet of opportunities that their defence laid on for him and revelling in the chance to prove his stated commitment to CPAFC on the pitch. "All I wanted to do was to go out and score for our biggest fan Chris Jones" said the on form striker.
And he did, capping off a wonderful brace with a cheeky chip over the keeper.
This left the score line at four nil and with Simon “The engine” Binns hobbling off injured the pace of the match slowed down, CPAFC began to pass the ball about and to play the patient build up. Saleem Patel was his usual commanding self at the back not letting anyone past and James Caves did his part one twoing around their midfield.
The final goal came straight from a goal kick; Atif Khan rolled a perfectly weighted ball up the field where it was pounced on by myself, hitting the back board with my first shot but being on hand for the rebound to throw my body at it and watch in delight as it beat the goalkeeper to cap the game off at 5-0.
Many congratulations go to Atif Khan who for the first time ever kept a clean sheet! Their shots were limited last night but when faced with a shot last season’s player’s player pulled off some vintage saves.
Well done to everyone last night, we are currently sitting pretty at the top of the league and I personally like the view from up here! We’ve now played all of the bottom four and have trickier games against OHS, Real Seville and Sporting Lesbian on the horizon; starting next week against Real Seville. So lets continue this run and division 6 will get closer and closer!!!
Your chief football reporter and man of the Match from last night, The artist formally known as Danny Cassidy
MATCH 5
CPAFC 10 - 5 Real Seville
Dear Sirs
Can I congratulate you all on a stupendous effort last night!!!!!
We are now sitting at the top of division 7 with a 3 point lead over our nearest rival and a goal difference of massive proportions.
Last night was classic CPAFC and was a performance that (for the first half at least) was technically brilliant.
Khanny between the posts was imperious stopping everything they had to throw at him and the rest of the team was stroking the ball around as though this was a training match against Panesar and Langdale!!!
We played total football last night and showed we have the fitness to track our men and win the ball, to pass accurately and with pace and to finish with aplomb. There is no better example of this then Danny (yes I mean Cassidy) bringing the ball down in one touch with the outside of his foot and then unleashing an unstoppable LEFT-footed drive. What has happened to this team, we are all playing so well.
We also have an early contender for goal of the season with Mr Patel striding forward and stricking the ball from his own half placing it in the bottom corner and leaving the opposition keeper wandering if we were cheating and had actually bought on a cannon to take our shots.
Our Scottish player of the year was also back to his goalscoring best getting a hat-trick (all be it of tap-ins) and Mr Boorman added to his impressive tally for the season with a cheeky finish in the corner from a tight angle.
Woody added another 3 to his ever expanding CPAFC goal haul (he's now on 61!!!) with another couple of typical "where the hell did that come from..???" kind of shots.
Even I managed to play well and keep my shots down!!!!!!!
If we continue to play like this there should be nothing for us to fear at goals and we should enter every match knowing that we can win!!!!
Come on CPAFC
Your captain for next week
James Caves
MATCH 6
OHS 5 - 7 CPAFC
Dearest Sirs
Last night was possible our toughest match to date and yet we came out on top once again.
OHS were undeniably a very good side, skilful and powerful but so are we nowadays and in patches we played them off the park.
Last week we had a finesse about our play and were keeping the ball for long periods. Last night that was not possible as we were hurried and harassed by their team constantly. However we did not lose our heads, we just stepped up our game.
More than any other match that I can remember there was passion from every player. (and even from the stands - thanks to mr jones)
Every goal felt like it meant the world and was greeted with cheers, clenched fists and gritted teeth!!!!!!!!!
Once again goals were coming from all over the place and were all of a superb quality. Our opener from mr Cassidy was a cheeky side foot from his own half that flew past the keeper, leaving him stunned. Mr Patel also scored with an excellent strike then shot past everybody. Even I managed to claim a goal that should go down in CPAFC history. However Man of the Match Mr Kennedy, the hat-trick hero of the night came up with a strike to rival even last weeks effort from Saleem. Out wide he caught the ball with such ferocity i'm amazed the pigs skin didn't explode. Of course between the posts Khanny had a typical performance, letting in a few sloppy goals, throwing the ball to each of their players, and making some incredible saves that defy the laws of physics.
This victory has put us 5 points clear at the top of the league and with a superior goal difference, however we cannot take our foot of the gas and must continue this run of form. Next week is the match we have all been waiting for 'Sporting Lesbians'.
Dr James Caves
Match 7
CPAFC 5 – 3 Sporting Lesbian
CPAFC’s march continues – seven wins out of seven- our latest against a Sporting Lesbian side in danger of slipping out of contention in the promotion race. CPAFC have now cemented their place at the top of the league with a massive 21 points.
CPAFC yet again did it the hard way with a narrow 5 - 3 victory coming after they found themselves a goal down within the first five minutes. It wasn’t until James Wood broke the deadlock that the game began to go the way of CPAFC. He took the congratulations but the architect was our very own Scottish wizard Graeme Kennedy, who with his back to the Sporting Lesbian goal inside his own half hooked the ball forward into the path of Wood. Whether it was a hopeful pass or sheer brilliance, it did not matter to James Wood, who collected the ball, left two defenders trailing before coolly slotting his shot under the advancing goalkeeper.
There was a feeling that it was game over already but the Sporty muff divers dug deep and really made a game of it. James Caves played a blinder scoring two superb goals his first came after taking the ball from a James Wood rebound and stroking the ball into the empty net. James Wood twice rattled the opposition’s bar with two brilliant low drives but lady luck was well and truly shining for their goalkeeper as with him beaten he relied on the woodwork and the ball was hurried to safety on two occasions.
Abuse from the home support was missed as Chris Jones was away scouting in scandanavia but I hear he’ll be there screaming shouting and waving his pom poms next week.
The next goal came from that good looking little fella Danny Cassidy who chased the ball down and made their defence panic into conceeding. Cassidy a future Latvian international chased the ball, won the tackle, had a shot take a wicked deflection from the advancing defender and left the goal keeper wrong footed and helpless. The goal however has cruelly been taken away from Cassidy by the dubious goal panel which has credited it as an own goal. Don’t think I wont appeal though!!!!
This gave CPAFC a bit of breathing space at 3-2 but with the athletic dykes on such good never say die form it wasn’t long until we felt the pressure.Jim Boorman finding himself at the top end of the pitch won a penalty as their defender meandered into the goal mouth but James Wood failed to take advantage of the opportunity and CPAFC again were biting their nails.
The nerves were settled slightly though when Graeme Kennedy pumped up with his 12th goal of the season with a trademark low placed shot. James Caves finished off the game with the second of his brace and 6th goal of the season.Man of the match was given to or trusty goalkeeper who saved everything thrown at him or should that be kicked?We have now beaten everyone in this league and are well on course to finish in our highest ever position. Division six is just on the horizon and all we have to do is keep winning!
Well done lads!
Hopefully I’ll play a bit better next week as my metartarsals should be healed so see you all there it’s a seven o’clock kick off against barely athletic.
Bring it on!
Your Chairman, Website designer, Club historian, Club mascot and sports reporter of the year 2006
Danny Cassidy MBE
Match 8
CPAFC 7 - 3 Barely Athletic
Hi Guys
Last night GE Capital Punishment became CPAFC!!!!!
But a different name didn't lead to a different result.
We came out victorious with a 7-3 win (once again predicted by mr Wood).
Last night was another good result from us and although we didn't play as well as we have been doping over the past few weeks we still got the result we needed and an increased goal difference to add aswell.
As ever we all did our jobs, from Khanny lettin the ball hitting him, to woody popping up with a couple of goals.
The team as a whole produced a performance that was required and little more but there were still moments of magic (mainly from the scottish wizard).
Kennedy's goal curling in from surley 40ft (well 12ft maybe) was the highlight of our goals.
Next week is social services a team we destroyed last time out so lets see if we can have a similar result against them (but nothing stupid as the win is the main thing). Kick off is at 8:30 so it'll be dark, meaning only one week where the sun was out when we started!!!!! Were still top by 6 points with all our nearest rivals also winning, but lets keep up our own form and we can't lose!!!!!!!!
Other points to be mentioned:
We picked up our runner's up trophies last night. A beautiful paper-weight if ever i saw one but surely they should act as inspiration for this season to make sure we end this campaign as champions and win a bigger one (I can report Si was disappointed not to win one aswell)
Danny finally stumbled over the 30 games mark and has already out-scored his previous 2 seasons totals
and finally Mr Kennedy has reached his half century of CPAFC goals.
James
Match 9
CPAFC 18 - 4 Social Services
Last night was an awful display of football.
We were all over the place, sloppy at the back and couldn't score for toffee.
Oh hang on no thats wrong we were excellent last night.
10-0 at half time and it really was like the opposition hadn't turned up!!!!!
We were running the show and never looked like coming away with anything but a convincing win.
Of course Atif did a 'Khan' and let in a couple of stupid goals but what do you expect.
He did also make some stunning saves and showed he is in good form at the moment.
Everybody in the team scored last night.
Saleem, Jim and myself all chipped in with 1 each to keep the defenders golden boot wide open.
However the strikers golden boot went into overdrive with Kennedy (6), Wood (5) and Cassidy (4) all adding to their totals.
Putting Woody and that scottish wizard on the same goals scored this season, with 20 each!!!!!!
Once again everybody wanted to run forward to score and we were a little sluggish in getting back and everyone of us commented after the game that we need to get a second match going each week again.
Therefore if you could reply using the buttons above i will see when is the best night for people to play.
We can hopefully get a thursday at morely gym but at about 7:30 or a friday at 8:30.
But we do need to have more defiante numbers each week and make sure it sticks.
Let me know what we would all prefer and we'll try to book it for next week.
